Getting engaged: Part 1 of 2 – How did we meet?

Wow, what a huge decision! A decision to be with someone for the rest of your life.

My girlfriend is currently busy with her final year studying to be a professional beautician in Aliwal North, its been well in our conversation to get married and to start a life together.

Some interesting questions can be generated through this big topic “Engagement”. People often ask: How did you meet each other? How did you pop the big question? The where and when? And.. Juan, you are so young, are you ready for this?

Before I start to answer all these questions, it's important to note that our Christian faith plays a big role in my and my fiancée's life. Getting engaged and getting married is the next step, a step we would like to give in our Christian faith. Many couples today tend to move in together before marriage. I would like to explain today what the Bible, our guideline for life, provides us in regards to living together and getting married.

There is a very clear understanding provided in the Bible about sexual immorality. Its clear from what Jesus preached and Paul wrote in the Bible that marriage between a man and a woman is the only form of partnership that God accepts and blesses. It's considered fornication if you have any sexual relationships outside the marriage.

What does the Bible say:

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

- Hebrews 13:4.

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”

-Proverbs 12:4

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

- Proverbs 18:22

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

- Matthew 19:4-6

How did we meet?

We were in the same school and always shyly gave each other a view from the corner of our eyes. It was easy to note that this girl does ballet. The way it showed in everything she does, the way she walks and the way she carries herself was probably one of the most attractive things about her. I had such a big crush on this girl that I decided to follow her on Instagram and I befriended her on Facebook, what a stalker right? Hehe, no that was not my intention. I started praying to the Lord, I would really like to have a girlfriend, but if I get one, she needs to be exactly like that girl! I don’t know how because she lives in Aliwal North and I in Port Elizabeth, but it was still clear that I want that girl.

It was difficult for me and a subject that really produced a lot of frustration and depression, especially while studying Architecture. My typical day consists of class from nine-am to three o'clock in the afternoon, enjoy some lunch, a short break and then work starts again up until two o'clock the next morning. All to repeat itself the next day.. this was frustrating because it prohibited me from ever meeting someone.

Years later when she finished matric (grade 12), and I was well in the middle of my third year of studies I received a message from her asking how I am.. One of the first things I asked her was why sent me that particular message, and she responded, “Please understand that I’ve never done such thing before in my life, but for the past few months I felt an urge to really talk to you.” It was obvious to me, that the Lord answered all my prayers, I did not just receive a girl that's like her, but He blessed me with exactly that girl. All of this happened on the 14th of May 2017. Things kind of escalated from there, that’s how we got to where we are today.

By now you are probably asking yourself," Well who is this special lady"? Everyone, this is Elandri Peyper soon to be Elandri de Villiers:

How did we cope with the long distance?

The long-distance relationship forced us to rely on mobile messages, video and phone calls. It’s bad to be so far from each other, but since we weren’t able to be physical together, hours and hours of phone calls endorsed a very good understanding of one another and know one another. Knowing how busy I am with my course, and for her, it wasn’t easy as well. Her typical day at the beauty college consists of; class from eight-thirty in the morning to one o'clock and then have practical from two o'clock to five o'clock every day. She had to work every third weekend as well.

If we had to be together in the same town, it would have probably ended up in one of us not focusing the right amount on our studies the way we should.

We enjoyed every holiday, it was possible for me to visit her in Aliwal North due to my sister also living there. In the long June and December holidays, we both enjoyed the stay at my parent's house in Queenstown, only 160km from Aliwal North.

I usually had a routine in the holidays of driving 491km from Port Elizabeth to Aliwal North, staying there for the big portion of the holiday. After a very sad “saying goodbye” I then drive 160km to Queenstown, for the last portion of the holiday with my parents. I will then head back to Port Elizabeth at the end of the holiday with another 394km. By now you will probably know that I am used to driving.

Port Elizabeth to Aliwal North via Cradock (Eastern Cape, South Africa)

Aliwal North to Queenstown (Eastern Cape, South Africa)

Queenstown to Port Elizabeth via Cradock (Eastern Cape, South Africa)

I hated coming back to Port Elizabeth, and still do. With each arrival, when I walk into my small bachelors flat the feeling of loneliness, missing my mom’s cooking and missing my girlfriend will overwhelm me. Soon classes start, and everything returns back to normal.

This is pretty much concluding the first part of our story, but please remember to read the next portion next week. This was a long story, I can agree with that, but thank you for reading this, it has been a pleasure sharing it with you!